So let's set the scene:
It was eleven years ago the term "gifted" came into my vocabulary (profoundly gifted was saved for later). Having grown up in a small town and having attended a Catholic school run by retired missionary nuns; "gifted" was something I had never heard of. All of a sudden, teachers began dropping hints about "giftedness". What did it mean? Was there something wrong with my child? Thank goodness for the internet or else this would have been a much steeper learning curve.
Then came the "testing". Then the "meeting". "Mrs. Taylor, your child is different. She is highly gifted." Ok, I have a hard enough time merely being a good parent. No pressure, now I have to conquer the parenting learning curve and I have given birth to a certified baby genius. How did that happen? This is a joke, right?
Hmmm, she didn't seem like a genius. I mean sure she taught herself to read at three but all kids do that, right? Well, sure it is unusual that she really wants to learn calculus at six but she just likes that book because it is her Dad's, right? Oh. most kids don't demand to learn calculus at six? Oh, I see. Well, I know she doesn't have any friends her age and prefers adults but that isn't too weird, is it? It all seemed very normal but it was my normal. This was the first time I found out we weren't "just regular." What a crushing blow. I felt normal. I began to question my entire existence and everything I knew.
Imagine the internal dialogue....or maybe you have had that same dialogue. It is a very scary place to be. There aren't many parents on the road with you and you probably don't already know them. Consider this a meeting place for those on the journey. I don't have it all figured out but would love to have company along the way.
There is a wonderful unpaved path out there....the road less traveled. The journey to raise the highly gifted child. To not only feed their intellectual needs but their social and emotional needs. It is quite a balancing act. You can't always help them keep all the balls in the air. It is a journey unlike any other. Life in the moment; more vivid, amazing and scary than any road I have been down.
Lesson 1: You are not perfect. You won't parent perfectly and it won't be easy.
First resource out of the gate: Hoagies gifted. You need to go there and you need to read. Start with Gifted 101! Memorize the URL because you will be there often.
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/
I look forward to this journey with you all. Please feel free to share your stories, brags, questions, problems.
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LALALA I'm stalking you.
ReplyDeleteI certainly know the questioning phase, but ours was the reverse -- the (non)response of preschool and primary school teachers caused us to doubt our suspicions of giftedness. He was NOT an early reader, which is too often considered to be THE marker of giftedness. Earlier, the fact that our son didn't fit the descriptions of typical baby/toddler (such as set out by Ames & Ilg), caused us to think there was something "wrong" with him or us.
ReplyDeleteFitz, I agree. Our third daughter was a non-early reader (very tough after two early readers) and it was my growing confidence in parenting a highly gifted child that allowed me to follow my instincts that she was okay and something was working in her brain that wasn't following the norm. Sure enough when she was hung up on how many exceptions to the rule there are in the written English language. She happened to begin taking Latin and it all clicked for her. The letters made the right sounds (in her mind) and gave her confidence to tackle more. She is a "mathy" kid and symbolic language, such as Mandarin, makes more sense to her. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteOf course, by this time we had given up on our local school system and had begun to homeschool. We just could not have their needs met in the system we were in. Some schools do an excellent job; none of them were close to us or were affordable.
The tricky thing is, pglets don't all present the same. My son didn't teach himself to read by three (well, he started to sound out words before 4, but only just) - and I know others with PG kids who didn't read early at all.
ReplyDeleteAnd PG doesn't necessarily translate into A student, either. At least, in my son's case, it didn't. Some are very quirky! :-)
Linda, this is so true and one of the reasons for this blog. I have an early reader, a late reader, a humanities kid, an entrepeneur, a math kid, an over achiever, an under-achiever, a stealth kid....lol
ReplyDeleteI want to address some of the myths of profound giftedness. It just so happens that my eldest child was an early reader so I had a leg up when I started this journey! If I had started with my late reader it would have been much more difficult.
Hey Stacia, can I link to you on my (currently semi-dormant) blog? You can wake us all up in the PG blogging world again!
ReplyDeleteShaun
That would be awesome Shaun! As irreverent as I am; I can do nothing but shake things up!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you started this blog. I could have written the beginning of this entry pretty much word for word about my first born.
ReplyDeleteWhat a path we trod...step by step, day by day, we figure things out and just when you think you understand - it all changes once again...The others with you on the path are the ones who keep you going.
Carolyn
Stacia-
ReplyDeleteThanks for starting this and for presenting last night. I've got you loaded in my Google Reader and will give your blog a linky on mine. I'll also forward it on to a few folks I know who could use the encouragement and company!