The "A" word....advocacy for the highly gifted child (an introduction)

 I know, I know, advocating for the highly gifted can be a hard road to travel. This why so many give in to homeschooling. The school system is not designed to fit the highly gifted child and vice versa. Now, this is not to say some schools don't do a GREAT job because there are amazing schools out there. I don't blame the schools. Highly gifted accomodations are counter-intuitive to the round hole/round peg nature of our system. With all of that said; advocacy is an important part of the highly gifted child's life.

This post is an introduction of the idea. In later posts we will delve into acceleration, classroom placement, IEP meetings, etc.

The best place to start this conversation is recommending every parent read "A Nation Deceived" http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/nation_deceived/

I will be very up front and say I am not necessarily an acceleration advocate. I believe accelerating a child without access to depth and breadth of a field of study continues to compound the problem. Highly gifted children are voracious learners in their area/areas of interest. This is not to say acceleration won't be necessary but I do believe there are life lessons along the way that are geared toward age and not intellect. In an ideal world school systems would pocket all of their highly gifted students into a small community school so they have age peers as well as access to mentors and higher level education. This was the very scenario that worked so well for our eldest daughter. We realized how well it worked when we moved into a disastrous situation with a school that was clueless.

Now I know the argument that is going to be made here....a teacher can't teach 30 kids AND differentiate curriculum. I am going to blow your mind and agree. You're right. They can't. It is an impossible request to ask a teacher to teach to a fifty point spread in IQ. It is impossible. Oh, I know, this brings up that heinous idea of "tracking". Here's the thing. Tracking isn't an ugly idea. People have taken it and made it into something emotional. It isn't. It is a FACT there are different levels of IQ and learning ability. It isn't because I want it to be so; it is. I would love to have the ability to put my children on a bus in the morning and know they have been well served. This is not the reality of the situation and all of my hoping isn't going to make it so. This is why tracking is not elitist. Elitism is creating artificial boundaries to keep certain people out. I am asking that school systems create passing lanes and HOV lanes for those that need them.

Advocacy in school requires a lot of time on the part of the parent. You will have to do the research and you will have to get creative with how to help the teacher. Meetings can be hard because your child requires a LOT but the idea in the world is the highly gifted kid will make it. There are so many stereotypes to overcome. This is where publications such as "A Nation Deceived" are important. They show empirical evidence the present and accepted way of educating the gifted is not working and can be very detrimental to the child.

As a parent, make certain your child is ready for the journey. Not all children want to make this journey. My eldest and middle daughters want nothing to do with advocacy and would rather homeschool than deal with the meetings, labels, explanations, etc. It is very important to listen to your child. This is hard for them and they will often have to advocate for themselves. My youngest is happy to communicate her needs and has no problem saying she is different with different needs. To each his own. Sometimes the child MUST make the journey because there is no other school choice. This child will need true help making their needs known and the art of compromise will be essential.

So, with that let's open the floor to discussion....advocacy, anyone?

Learning does not ignore the laws of physics.

It was suggested that I blog about things that come up along the way; things that are important to me. Here is a burning issue for me: Why do so many people say,"They are too young to learn x, y or z." Sure, there are definitively life lessons one can not learn until it is time. Knowledge is not the same thing.

Reminds me of learning about potential energy in high school physics.
Potential energy or stored energy is the ability of a system to do work due to its position or internal structure.

I am so perplexed when I hear,"Johnny's teacher suggested we no longer teach him new things after school. That is why he is bored in class. Don't teach him so much at home and then he won't be as bored at school" Hmmm. Research doesn't back this up. Odds are Johnny has always been infinitely curious and has a great need to know about his world. Does it make sense for a parent to say,"Little Johnny, I am sorry but I can not answer your question. This is a third grade question and you are in kindergarten. You will need to save this question for a few years." Of course not. And yet it happens. All the time.

What is a parent to do? Let's start with understanding how development occurs.

You see the highly gifted (or any gifted) child does not start out developing as any other child and does not slow down to the same level. You can oppress their learning but this is different from their ability to learn. Giftedness is an ability to learn or potential energy. It is not what they have already learned.

Deborah Ruf's work on the levels of giftedness show this as cognitive development from birth. This is the whole child not parts.
http://www.educationaloptions.com/resources/resources_levels_giftedness.php

Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration speaks to the amount of information a brain gleans from their environment. Controversial certainly, but interesting to ponder.
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Mendaglio_DabrowskisTheoryOfPositiveDisintegration.shtml

The idea is those who are highly sensitive and learn much from very small bits of information. This theory shows the sensitive brain is picking up more from its environs. This is everything from a shirt tag being a distraction to seemingly understanding advanced concepts with little experience or information. It is all in the potential energy/ability of the mind. These children's brains are growing and working differently. It just is and no amount of wishing it weren't so or asking them not to learn is going to change that.

Now, a child is given advantages by having parents stimulate their environment. Absolutely. This is proven. This should not be confused with potential in a highly gifted child. It is a question of physics. If there is not enough potential energy to move an object; it can not be moved. The potential has to be there and so it is with the gifted child.

Your highly gifted child has the potential to learn at great depth AND great speed. Honor this and go with it. When asked a question by a child, answer. See what happens.

Let's start at the very beginning.....

So let's set the scene:
It was eleven years ago the term "gifted" came into my vocabulary (profoundly gifted was saved for later). Having grown up in a small town and having attended a Catholic school run by retired missionary nuns; "gifted" was something I had never heard of. All of a sudden, teachers began dropping hints about "giftedness". What did it mean? Was there something wrong with my child? Thank goodness for the internet or else this would have been a much steeper learning curve.

Then came the "testing". Then the "meeting". "Mrs. Taylor, your child is different. She is highly gifted." Ok, I have a hard enough time merely being a good parent. No pressure, now I have to conquer the parenting learning curve and I have given birth to a certified baby genius. How did that happen? This is a joke, right?

Hmmm, she didn't seem like a genius. I mean sure she taught herself to read at three but all kids do that, right? Well, sure it is unusual that she really wants to learn calculus at six but she just likes that book because it is her Dad's, right? Oh. most kids don't demand to learn calculus at six? Oh, I see. Well, I know she doesn't have any friends her age and prefers adults but that isn't too weird, is it? It all seemed very normal but it was my normal. This was the first time I found out we weren't "just regular." What a crushing blow. I felt normal. I began to question my entire existence and everything I knew.

Imagine the internal dialogue....or maybe you have had that same dialogue. It is a very scary place to be. There aren't many parents on the road with you and you probably don't already know them. Consider this a meeting place for those on the journey. I don't have it all figured out but would love to have company along the way.

There is a wonderful unpaved path out there....the road less traveled. The journey to raise the highly gifted child. To not only feed their intellectual needs but their social and emotional needs. It is quite a balancing act. You can't always help them keep all the balls in the air. It is a journey unlike any other. Life in the moment; more vivid, amazing and scary than any road I have been down.

Lesson 1: You are not perfect. You won't parent perfectly and it won't be easy.

First resource out of the gate: Hoagies gifted. You need to go there and you need to read. Start with Gifted 101! Memorize the URL because you will be there often.
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

I look forward to this journey with you all. Please feel free to share your stories, brags, questions, problems.